Because a "Get Rid of the Mexicans Bill" Would Likely Be Unconstitutional, Too


It appears that Suffolk County Exec Steve Levy's attempt to curb the day-labor problem with an anti-loitering bill will be for naught. ("For naught" means "it ain't gonna work.")

It's not as if they didn't have other, even less-successful attempts at legislation to eliminate the hordes of Latin fellows seeking unlicensed employment for untaxed income. A previous proposed bill attempted to make it a crime for speaking a word that has a tilde in it.

Our Problem Was That We Always Confused It With FarmingDALE

Farmingville residents are looking to change the name of a portion of their town to Oak Hills in order to wipe away its association as the capital of illegal immigrants.

Someone might eventually alert these people that there is an Oak Hill, New York, which is so similar that they'll have to pick a new name. We suggest New Mexico City or Xenophobiaville.

Also on the Budget: Robot Firemen!

More of your tax dollars at work: Farmingville's fire commissioners recently passed a budget that allocates $260,000 for the renovation of its stations' recreation rooms and $55,000 to buy a race car.

A deeper look at the budget also reveals an earmark for this:

Uh...that's a Farmingville FD patch on the space shuttle. Which isn't really a space shuttle, but a balloon shaped liked the space shuttle. But you know what we mean.