Charles Bronson Would Love Him, If Charles Bronson Weren't Dead

Behold this man.


This is John Clifford. He rides the LIRR. He doesn't like noisy riders. Most people don't like noisy riders, even the ones who are making noise and don't realize that they're bothering everyone else.


We often get stuck sitting next to some jackass with his iPod headphones on so loud that we can clearly hear his playlist, which is likely named "Gay Songs of the 1980s." And we sit there and stew. Or we move our seat. But not John Clifford.



According to this very curious profile, John Clifford has punched one woman, poured coffee on another, and extracted other sorts of inconvenienced-commuter revenge several times. So if you ride the train with this man, John Clifford, turn down your iPod, don't slurp your coffee, watch how loud you type on your laptop, and if you fall asleep, don't you dare snore...


'Cause John Clifford's gonna get ya.