And in Other News, Your Cable Bill Has Tripled



Not much to say about this, other than it's a good excuse to post photos of the Dolans.

Dolan Singing the Blues?


Well, not really. Even though the he was socked with the $11.6 million verdict (on appeal; good luck with that!) and is facing that other sex-harassment lawsuit we almost forgot about, Jim's got a plan to keep himself and his empire solvent.

1. Because beer sales bring in more revenue than soda, the drinking age at Garden events will be lowered to 12.


2. Love HBO? It's now 300 bucks a month!


3. MSG interns have to sign up for a payroll deduction if they want to bang Stephon Marbury in his van.


4. MSG to sue all Chinese restaurants for copyright infringement every time they use monosodium glutamate.

If Only a Middle Finger Washed Up Instead



A severed left leg washed up on the shore of the James Dolan estate, baffling investigators.

Turns out, it was just somebody trying to pay his Cablevision bill. The arm (as in "arm and a leg") will likely turn up later.

Dead Cablevision Exec Treated Better Than Living Cablevision Customers

And so it appears that the Dolan Family Monolopy has awarded backdated stock options to nonemployees, including a no-longer-living former vice chairman of the company.

It's been learned that Cablevision has also awarded options to the following:

1. Former President Warren G. Harding (1865–1923)
2. Anyone who buys an album by Jim Dolan's band
3. Several trees in Charles Dolan's yard
4. Seven of the nine Jim Dolan clones (still in progress at an undisclosed location)