HERE'S a solution: Make the homeless live in John Loeffel's illegal apartment! Everybody wins!
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Maybe Building That THIRD Story Was a Bad Idea
File this under what we're calling "Long Irony." (Get it? Long Island? Irony? Long Irony?) John Loeffel, the buildings commissioner in Hempstead, failed to have his own home properly assessed after he expanded his little one-story cape to a three-story monster (see the photo we stole from Newsday at left).
Too bad Supervisor Kate Murray, who lobbied hard to get this guy his job, was in the dark. But wait--Newsday says she lives on the same street as Loeffel!
Next up in Hempstead: A restaurant owned by the health commissioner will be found to harbor bubonic plague.
File this under what we're calling "Long Irony." (Get it? Long Island? Irony? Long Irony?) John Loeffel, the buildings commissioner in Hempstead, failed to have his own home properly assessed after he expanded his little one-story cape to a three-story monster (see the photo we stole from Newsday at left).
Too bad Supervisor Kate Murray, who lobbied hard to get this guy his job, was in the dark. But wait--Newsday says she lives on the same street as Loeffel!
Next up in Hempstead: A restaurant owned by the health commissioner will be found to harbor bubonic plague.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Snow Job
Well, it appears that the Scottish fellow who promised to build an indoor ski mountain in Riverhead has finally backed out of the project after revealing that of the $100 million he claimed to have available, he lacked about $99,500,000 of it.
He had some other ideas for Long Island that likely won't get past the drawing-board stage:
1. The Long Island Commuter Tube transit system, which promises Ronkonkoma-to-Manhattan transportation in under three minutes.
2. Filling in the Long Island Sound so cars can travel to Connecticut without going through the City.
3. Disneyland Coram.
4. A rebuilt Nassau Coliseum and a hotel/condo combo featuring a 60-story tower. (Oh, wait, that's Charlie Wang's idea.)
Well, it appears that the Scottish fellow who promised to build an indoor ski mountain in Riverhead has finally backed out of the project after revealing that of the $100 million he claimed to have available, he lacked about $99,500,000 of it.
He had some other ideas for Long Island that likely won't get past the drawing-board stage:
1. The Long Island Commuter Tube transit system, which promises Ronkonkoma-to-Manhattan transportation in under three minutes.
2. Filling in the Long Island Sound so cars can travel to Connecticut without going through the City.
3. Disneyland Coram.
4. A rebuilt Nassau Coliseum and a hotel/condo combo featuring a 60-story tower. (Oh, wait, that's Charlie Wang's idea.)
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Friday, February 16, 2007
Talk About "Stand By Your Man"! Part II
Most Long Island housewives would leave their husbands if the guys left the toilet seat up two days in a row, yet for the second consecutive day, Newsday reports on another guy who tried to have his woman (in this case, his fiancee) killed (but got busted because the guy he hired was an undercover cop, duh) only to have the loyal lady defend the guy in court!
We need more women like the former Mary Jo Buttafuoco! (She left Joey, and he didn't even technically try to kill her!)
Most Long Island housewives would leave their husbands if the guys left the toilet seat up two days in a row, yet for the second consecutive day, Newsday reports on another guy who tried to have his woman (in this case, his fiancee) killed (but got busted because the guy he hired was an undercover cop, duh) only to have the loyal lady defend the guy in court!
We need more women like the former Mary Jo Buttafuoco! (She left Joey, and he didn't even technically try to kill her!)
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Read Before You Post
Newsday ran a heartwarming Valentine's Day story about a couple who were married for 77 years, and the comments were positive:
...but for one exception:
Newsday ran a heartwarming Valentine's Day story about a couple who were married for 77 years, and the comments were positive:
...but for one exception:
Talk About "Stand By Your Man"!
We continue to be fascinated by the story of the guy who hired a hitman to kill his wife (only the hit man turned out to be an undercover cop).
In what is setting back something (women's lib? marriage?) several hundred years, the wife/target is not only supporting her husband, but is refusing to cooperate with the prosecution.
This despite her husband being quoted as wanting a thorough job: "Make sure you finish her off, because I don't want to be stuck with a vegetable," he said, accoriding to the prosecutor.
We think it's a little too late for that.
We continue to be fascinated by the story of the guy who hired a hitman to kill his wife (only the hit man turned out to be an undercover cop).
In what is setting back something (women's lib? marriage?) several hundred years, the wife/target is not only supporting her husband, but is refusing to cooperate with the prosecution.
This despite her husband being quoted as wanting a thorough job: "Make sure you finish her off, because I don't want to be stuck with a vegetable," he said, accoriding to the prosecutor.
We think it's a little too late for that.
The Video Camera Should Have Tipped You Off
Once again, a man has been arrested for trying to hire a hitman to kill his wife, and once again, the man was arrested because the hit man happened to be an undercover cop who videotaped the whole transaction.
While we at Long Island Nation do not approve of people offing their spouses, we less approve of people who fail to do a job correctly.
Not that we have any experience in this regard (though we might have entertained the idea from time to time), we assume that you'd probably want to perform some due diligence when interviewing your prospective hitman:
1. Ask him if he's ever whacked anyone before. (Make sure you say "whacked"; it means you mean BUSINESS!)
2. Ask him if he has references who can confirm he has the ability to cold-bloodedly murder a total stranger.
3. Ask him what his method is. If it's a garotte, he may be too old-school for you.
4. And in passing, ask him if he, um, HAPPENS TO BE AN UNDERCOVER COP.
Once again, a man has been arrested for trying to hire a hitman to kill his wife, and once again, the man was arrested because the hit man happened to be an undercover cop who videotaped the whole transaction.
While we at Long Island Nation do not approve of people offing their spouses, we less approve of people who fail to do a job correctly.
Not that we have any experience in this regard (though we might have entertained the idea from time to time), we assume that you'd probably want to perform some due diligence when interviewing your prospective hitman:
1. Ask him if he's ever whacked anyone before. (Make sure you say "whacked"; it means you mean BUSINESS!)
2. Ask him if he has references who can confirm he has the ability to cold-bloodedly murder a total stranger.
3. Ask him what his method is. If it's a garotte, he may be too old-school for you.
4. And in passing, ask him if he, um, HAPPENS TO BE AN UNDERCOVER COP.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Also, It's COMPtroller, Not CONtroller
Newly installed Dem crony State Comptroller Thomas DiNapoli was blitzed with some basic financial questions in a Great Neck diner by the New York Post the other day, and proved he knew very little about the job that he was about to occupy.
There were several other questions, unpublished until now, that Tom was unable to answer correctly:
1. Which president is on the two-dollar bill?
2. What is the capital of New York?
3. What's so great about Great Neck?
4. Where have Shelly Silver and Joe Bruno buried their scruples?
5. Did Alan Hevesi's wife ever offer to pay for gas while she was being chauffeured around?
6. Deal...or no deal?
7. Which president is on the three-dollar bill? (TRICK QUESTION!)
8. After you finish your meal here, how much do you plan to tip?
9. Does anyone have smaller eyes than Governor Spitzer?
10. Who's a bigger crook: Hevesi or Bruno?
11. Did Tom Suozzi really offer to arm-wrestle you for the Nassau County Exec nomination?
12. How many pennies am I holding in my left hand?
13. If Governor Spitzer were allowed to spend five minutes in a locked room with Shelly Silver, no questions asked, what would happen?
Newly installed Dem crony State Comptroller Thomas DiNapoli was blitzed with some basic financial questions in a Great Neck diner by the New York Post the other day, and proved he knew very little about the job that he was about to occupy.
There were several other questions, unpublished until now, that Tom was unable to answer correctly:
1. Which president is on the two-dollar bill?
2. What is the capital of New York?
3. What's so great about Great Neck?
4. Where have Shelly Silver and Joe Bruno buried their scruples?
5. Did Alan Hevesi's wife ever offer to pay for gas while she was being chauffeured around?
6. Deal...or no deal?
7. Which president is on the three-dollar bill? (TRICK QUESTION!)
8. After you finish your meal here, how much do you plan to tip?
9. Does anyone have smaller eyes than Governor Spitzer?
10. Who's a bigger crook: Hevesi or Bruno?
11. Did Tom Suozzi really offer to arm-wrestle you for the Nassau County Exec nomination?
12. How many pennies am I holding in my left hand?
13. If Governor Spitzer were allowed to spend five minutes in a locked room with Shelly Silver, no questions asked, what would happen?
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Sixty Days of Fun!
One of Long Island's favorite businessmen-turned-criminals, Sanjay "Charles Wang Knew NOTHING About Any of This" Kumar, has just received a two-month reprieve from beginning his 12-year prison sentence. Which means instead of being released as late as February 27, 2019, it could now be as late as APRIL 27, 2019.
What can he do with those two months? Maybe catch a few Islanders games (though he likely won't be invited to Wang's luxury box) or stop by the headquarters of the company he ruined or go door-to-door to the CA employees who lost their jobs thanks to his fraud.
So much to do, so little time!
One of Long Island's favorite businessmen-turned-criminals, Sanjay "Charles Wang Knew NOTHING About Any of This" Kumar, has just received a two-month reprieve from beginning his 12-year prison sentence. Which means instead of being released as late as February 27, 2019, it could now be as late as APRIL 27, 2019.
What can he do with those two months? Maybe catch a few Islanders games (though he likely won't be invited to Wang's luxury box) or stop by the headquarters of the company he ruined or go door-to-door to the CA employees who lost their jobs thanks to his fraud.
So much to do, so little time!
Thursday, February 08, 2007
The Next Hearing Is Scheduled for February 31
The LIRR held hearings about the gap issue. Nice. Of course, they decided to hold the hearings on a weekday morning, which is when like 80 percent of its ridership will be at work, in the City, assuming they haven't already fallen through the gaps during their morning commute.
The article also mentions a group called Residents for a More Beautiful Syosset. We wonder if there's an opposing group that likes things the way they are, like Apathetics for an Ugly Stretch of Strip Malls Along Jericho Turnpike by Route 135.
The LIRR held hearings about the gap issue. Nice. Of course, they decided to hold the hearings on a weekday morning, which is when like 80 percent of its ridership will be at work, in the City, assuming they haven't already fallen through the gaps during their morning commute.
The article also mentions a group called Residents for a More Beautiful Syosset. We wonder if there's an opposing group that likes things the way they are, like Apathetics for an Ugly Stretch of Strip Malls Along Jericho Turnpike by Route 135.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Now How Much for a Lawyer Lapdance?
The Town of Hempstead is trying to shut down a self-described "upscale gentlemen's club" (which we know no real "gentleman" would ever enter) called (and oddly spelled) Seduccion Bar and Lounge.
Enticing, isn't it?
According to the article, lapdances cost $25. This despite the club's tagline (according to their Web site): "City Style Without the City Hassle." Last time we went to a bachelor party in the City, we hit Privilege, where the private dances were a mere double-sawbuck. (Hey, we didn't say we were gentlemen!) We think the extra five bucks for girls who couldn't make the cut in NYC clubs would be considered a "hassle," too!
Meanwhile, the town has hired a law firm at the rate of $175 an hour. For that price, they'd better file their legal briefs while not wearing their cotton briefs!
Monday, February 05, 2007
Friday, February 02, 2007
Two Embarrassing Selden Stories in Two Days!
Poor Selden. Yesterday's Newsday reported two Seldenites getting arrested for crack, while today we see that the fire department's being investigated for curious spending and bookkeeping, including conferences in Las Vegas.
You'd think with all the money they supposedly spent, they'd have paid the bill for the district's Web site, which is currently dead.
Poor Selden. Yesterday's Newsday reported two Seldenites getting arrested for crack, while today we see that the fire department's being investigated for curious spending and bookkeeping, including conferences in Las Vegas.
You'd think with all the money they supposedly spent, they'd have paid the bill for the district's Web site, which is currently dead.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
How LI Pales to NYC, Part II
Newsday ran two crack-related headlines atop each other:
We see another notable difference between THE CITY and THE ISLAND.
Kenneth "Supreme" McGriff ran a drug empire and was recently convicted of paying 50 grand to have two rivals rubbed out. Meanwhile, in Selden (surprise!), two losers were nabbed with an ounce of crack. Nice job!
(And yes, we make fun of the two morons stealing nickel powder!)
Newsday ran two crack-related headlines atop each other:
We see another notable difference between THE CITY and THE ISLAND.
Kenneth "Supreme" McGriff ran a drug empire and was recently convicted of paying 50 grand to have two rivals rubbed out. Meanwhile, in Selden (surprise!), two losers were nabbed with an ounce of crack. Nice job!
(And yes, we make fun of the two morons stealing nickel powder!)
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