A Grande Writer's Block With an Extra Shot of
Who Gives a Shit

Wondering what potent potables Long Island Presser Nora Cronin chose to quaff last weekend while doing her holiday shopping? Neither were we, but apparently the Press decided to indulge its caffeine-crippled columnist by running an article on what she drank as she hit the malls or whatever the hell she did last weekend.

While not as navel-gazing as, say, a "Nelson Ravings" column, did we really need to kill a tree and some of our bandwidth to be privy to such unique observations as Dunkin' Donuts' coffee is cheaper than Starbucks', and their holiday decorations are "tacky"?

The column is ostensibly about holiday-themed coffee drinks from local establishments, yet three of the five places she mentions are Starbucks (twice) and Dunkin' D's. Which we could read about in the Des Moines Register.

Honestly, we wouldn't mind reading that the Press columnists drink their own (or each other's) urine if we learned something "local" or "Long Island-y" along the way—which is why we're supposed to be picking the Press up off our driveways instead of letting it float along a meandering curbside river into the sewer.

Next week: a rundown of local burger joints, featuring the merits of ingesting a Big Mac versus a Whopper.